I’m glad you asked! Most Yiddish dictionaries describe “shiksa” as simply “a non-Jewish woman.” Today, the word is often used to describe a non-Jewish woman who is in a relationship with a Jewish man. In other words, if you’re a non-Jewish girl, especially one married to a nice Jewish boy, you are most definitely a shiksa (especially to your in-laws!). Historically shiksa has been considered a term of insult. Some have even equated the word shiksa to a “vile abomination” or an “unclean thing.” Not so cute, right? When I first heard that, I took offense. I’m a shiksa, and I assure you I take showers regularly. Luckily, those definitions aren’t very popular anymore.
Nowadays the word shiksa is pretty much used with good humor—as it should be! After all, there are many shiksas in the world; interfaith marriage is becoming increasingly common. Let’s focus on the things that unite us, rather than the things that divide us. Fundamentally we are all the same. A good meal can bring warmth and joy to anybody, no matter who you are or what background you come from. Therefore, I’d like to officially liberate the word shiksa from its derogatory past. Shiksas unite!
I am a recent convert to Judaism, but I still call myself a shiksa. Why? Because I’ve spent the majority of my life as a Gentile. I’m exploring Jewish cuisine with an open mind and heart. I am happy that I was born a shiksa; it made me who I am today. Judaism is my spiritual path, but I will never forget where I came from. Plus, “The Convert In The Kitchen” doesn’t sound quite as cute, does it? 
If you’d like to learn more about my conversion, or why I use the word shiksa, please read my blog postings:
Through this website, I am hoping to keep the art of Jewish cuisine growing and thriving. I want to reach out to new generations and re-engage them in the art of preparing and savoring wonderful Jewish meals. I also hope to introduce people who don’t know much about Jewish cuisine to the exciting, unique flavors they’ve been missing. I encourage people from all faiths and backgrounds to join me on my journey into the heart of Jewish cuisine. Let’s all eat, drink, and embrace our inner shiksa!
Hey… It’s very interesting that your cooking blog’ name is “Shisksa”. The meaning of “Shisksa” in Korean is a meal or having a meal!
Now that’s a new one to me! How appropriate.
I love your story Tori…and the photo is adorable!!! Can’t wait to check out your recipes.
Thanks Sheryl! Happy to be your blogging friend!
Thank you for this site, Tori — a cornucopia of culinary history, culture, and even comedy.
The recipes and their stories are fantastic, but by sharing your own experiences in your decision to become a Jew-By-Choice, you give a forum to those in different places on their own journeys. I still get tears in my eyes when I recall the treatment of one of my friends by her husband’s family, who wouldn’t even allow her in the kitchen for fear of “something getting mixed up” — and she possesses more Yiddishkeit than the rest of them put together.
As you are a culinary anthropologist, I am, by training, a linguist — and in that, I would like to thank you for rescuing the word “shiksa” from a meaning it was never intended to have. Words are at the mercy of the people who use them; if, as the Talmud says, “The righteous of all nations [ha-goyim] have a share in the World-To-Come,” then we are not in a position to use descriptors pejoratively!
Anita, thank you!! It makes my heart so happy to know that you and others understand why I have embraced the nickname “shiksa.” I can’t tell you how much your comment means to me, I really appreciate you taking the time to write.
I’m very much the Shiksa in the kitchen at most of my hubby’s family events, in the positive sense luckily. I am of an interfaith marriage but we both decided that it was best that I did not convert to Judaism at the time of marriage, but we had a ceremony that embraced both of our backgrounds . Our time together, so far, has introduced me to the vast array of Jewish delicacies that are abound and I have become an avid ‘Jewish’ cook. I really respect the fact you have set up this website, it is very refreshing, positive, inclusive and inspirational.
Sarah, so happy you’re enjoying the site! I’m very glad you’ve been embraced by your new family. Hope my recipes can provide you with further culinary inspiration. Hugs!
Tori…love, love, love your blog! I am a mother of three, resident Shicksa and family cook for many family meals. Since I started a family and chose to stay home, the role has expanded to weekly all-family Shabbat dinners complete with my homemade Challah. I appreciate your story and am a lover of all things food. I embrace using the old traditions and ingredients to create delicious and healthy options for my family. Although, I recognize when some menus are just not the same unless they are fried, everyone has to make exceptions. I look forward to exploring your blog further and to watching new recipes and food ideas come to my in-box. Happy Cooking!
Thanks so much Carolyn, so happy you found the site! Welcome!
Girl, you are too much! I just love your candor, your wit (convert in the kitchen?) and your delicious recipes (the photos are over the top). I married a nice Jewish boy, divorced him (still good friends) and have remained close to his grandmother, 92 years young and a total hoot. I’m thrilled to find your site to show her some fresh recipes that will remind her of her youth. I’ll have to see if there’s a newsletter I can sign up for. When you write that book, let’s talk. — Suzanna
Thanks Suzanna! Very happy you’re here. You can sign up for my weekly newsletter at the top of the home page on the right hand side where it says “Subscribe.”
Hello Tori,
I just stumbled onto your blog looking for instructions on how to braid a challah, and I absolutely love it! The challahs, btw, are gorgeous. And I have just learnt a new name for myself! Turns out I am a shiksa as well (my husband is Jewish, but a very secular and non-practicing one, from France). I am an avid cook, and I cook French, American, and Russian food pretty well, and I am just starting to explore Jewish cooking. Your blog will definitely help. Thanks!
Thanks Marina, I’m so happy you’re here!
Hi Tori,
I am a retired, trained professional chef and I love your blog but what I love most of all is your enthusiasm and willingness to try different foods from different cultures. You do not have to be a trained chef to be a fabulous cook. I am from mixed family, my mother was the shiksa in our kitchen so I am delighted by you willingness to convert to Judaism and to try the varied cuisines in Judaism. I am so impressed with your blog and your teaching methods. I am delighted that you are a food anthropolgist. I would love to see some the titles of the books that you research. As a hobby I have been thinking about going back to school to learn the history of foods through the ages and would appreciate you any advice that you can give to me and all your fans. Thank you from one professional to another.
David, thank you!! That is very kind of you.
Hi Tori,
I am a G_d Fearer-New Testament description, one who loves and is in awe of the G_d of Avraham, Isaac, and Ya’acov. I desire to live Torah, so I am happy to find your blog.
Shabbat shalom
Rachel
Welcome Rachel!
Cute title for a blog but I still don’t get it, you aren’t a shiksa if you are Jewish! Maybe Ex-Shiksa? Love your blog.
Thanks Jennifer! I made a conscious decision to embrace the nickname “shiksa” for several reasons, one of which is to help reverse some outdated negative stereotypes associated with the word. Happy you’re enjoying the blog!
I am sure you know that Ruth, King David´s grandmother was a shisah too.
And she was the best daughter in law in the History of Humanity.
Indeed I do Jane! Ruth is an inspiration! In fact, I considered Ruth as a Hebrew name when I converted, but ended up choosing Adina. It just felt right, for some reason.
Hi Tori
I’m glad that you made a post on Norenee’s blog or I never would nave found you. I can’t wait to see what you have to offer with insights into Jewish (kosher) cooking. Welcome to the fold. You are a role model for those who have converted and what to learn more about Jewish cooking without being embarrassed to ask in-laws….there is so much beauty in cooking for the holidays and it nice to have someone who can but a different twist on recipes. Looking forward to new and interesting recipes from you as well as Norenee
Thank you so much Natalie! Norene is an inspiration; I’m really enjoying being a part of her cooking group. Welcome to the blog! I’m thrilled you’re here.
according to the jewish law – if you convert for a man (not on your own will) then, it is NOT considered a kosher conversion. =(
Susy, I’m not sure if this is a general statement, or if you’re referring specifically to me. I did not convert “for a man”; I started my study of Judaism long before I met my Jewish husband, back when I was in college. That said, I would never judge another person’s religious conversion and its legitimacy, nor would I question their reason for converting. Conversion is a big step, particularly to Judaism– it is a very difficult process, and I don’t believe anybody embarks on that path without deep introspection. At any rate, this site is not about judging the spiritual choices of others, it is about enjoying food and food history.
If you would like to read more about my own conversion, here is a link where I talk about it in greater depth:
http://theshiksa.com/2010/03/01/the-shiksa-is-jewish/
I saw you on WGN-TV in Chicago,and proceeded to hunt for your cookbook (which I didn’t find, and I thank Barnes & Noble for finding YOU for me!) My only connection to Judaism is the group of lovely ladies with whom I play Mah Jongg (I guess that doesn’t make me a shiksa). I thought I might find some good snacks & desserts to make when I host them!
Hey!
Interesting story behind the name of your blog. I regularly follow your blog. Its quiet interesting!
You’ll be surprised to know that in Hindi (one of Indian language) SHIKSA means ‘education’. So in reference to your blog it means educating about food. Cool.Isnt it!
so elated i came across your blog! i converted to judaism in 2005, met my husband on j.date in 2006 and here we are with two kids 5 years later. i really can’t wait to try some of your recipes. it’s hard to find jewish cooking that is healthy, so usually i reserve the frying and carbs for the holidays. truth be told, my mother in law is not a very good cook!
and yes, i’m familiar with the ‘shiksa’ term. my husband’s family is reform now, but we go to conservative shul. however we do not keep kosher. our kids go to a jewish preschool which is kosher style (no meat) so i run out of ideas for protein. we try to keep it low carb regularly and organic/whole foods. so i will be a checking back regularly. nice blog! and mazel on joining the tribe! 
Hi Tori,
I appreciate your blog very much, including your insights about being a recent convert to Judaism. I am Jewish but was not raised in the religion so much. I’ve spent much of my life studying my heritage. So, first of all, welcome, and thanks for the great recipes and especially the photos, which are extremely well done. I apologize that my post is somewhat long, but I wrote a lot to try to be as clear as I can about what some readers most likely feel but won’t say directly. I do so with the best of intentions, and with lots of respect for you and your blog fans.
I wish to express my concern about your use of the word “shiksa.” You’re free to call yourself whatever you wish, but for those of us who grew up with even a smattering of Yiddish at home, it is a word that makes us cringe. And your employment of it, in my opinion, promotes several misunderstandings.
For one thing, your comment “Today, the word is often used to describe a non-Jewish woman who is in a relationship with a Jewish man” is true as far as it goes, but there really is no difference in how one refers to a non-Jew who is dating a Jew, and what one calls any other non-Jew. As you can see from one of the previous comments, at least one person (and she is probably just a tiny representative of many) has construed your statement to mean that as a non-Jewish woman, she must not be a shiksa because she’s not dating a Jew. That is an erroneous assumption based on your statement.
As a historian, I understand that language is fluid, and terms change in meaning over time, but such misinterpretations are a concern to those of us who grew up with Yiddish words and love the language. No one wants Yiddish to be set in stone. As a living language (we hope), it will naturally change. Nevertheless, at this point the dating status of a non-Jewish woman has absolutely nothing to do with the meaning of the word “shiksa” — although it may be trotted out by the relatives of a Jewish guy, which is unfortunate because, like it or not, “shiksa” carries an unpleasant connotation to native speakers.
“Shiksa,” like several other words I choose not to use, is derogatory. I think those of your readers who didn’t grow up with Yiddish (Jewish and non-Jewish) should know this from the outset. You can say you’re “owning” the word, you can decide that you’re “redefining” it, but it makes many of us wince. Besides carrying a connotation of something unclean, it implies stupidity and loose morals. “Shiksa” is not a neutral term, and despite the sentiment expressed by the linguist who commented saying that you are “rescuing” it from “a meaning it was never intended to have” (not sure how she knows this, but assuming she’s correct), it *is*, like it or not, used as a slight by most Yiddish speakers.
Words aren’t just sounds; they communicate kinesthetically (as a feeling) as well. A non-Jew is referred to respectfully as a non-Jew. Terms like “shiksa,” “goy,” and “shaygetz” do not communicate respect among native speakers, and are not names that non-Jews should want to be called, literal definitions notwithstanding. Again, as a historian, I’m speaking of how words get used, and those who really use the language still use terms like “shiksa” in a way that is, at the very least, disparaging. (Trust me, I’ve been in a number of situations in which someone will call him/herself a goy, and if there’s another Jew who knows any Yiddish in the room, I’ll check my reaction with that person. Inevitably — really — the other person will agree completely with my discomfort at this usage.)
I want to be very clear that this is NOT how I or anyone I know thinks of non-Jews. This is why I refuse to use the words “shiksa,” “goy,” etc. I respect everyone, and this is the real Jewish teaching; so much so, that after one converts, Jews are not supposed to remind him/her of their conversion because once you’re adopted into the “family,” one is to make no distinction (although I totally understand the need to acknowledge and appreciate your heritage-of-origin, and I applaud that attitude — no one should have to disown his/her background).
Anyone who refers to a convert in a disrespectful or derogatory way is breaking Jewish law. I know it goes on, and I deplore it. Fortunately, I think the old-fashioned cultural ways, born of centuries of being oppressed and needing to protect the cohesion of the group, are changing for the better. But in my opinion, it will take a long time (if ever) before words like “shiksa” are anything you’d want to use.
I’m sure my post won’t change how you call yourself. (All other factors aside, “Shiksa in the Kitchen” is a catchy brand.) But those who read the blog, and especially those unfamiliar with Yiddish, should understand the connotation of the word so that they can make informed choices. Keep up the good work, and thanks for choosing a Jewish path. I, for one, am very grateful for what you bring to our people.
Hi Historian 358– thank you for your kind words, and for your well thought out comment. I appreciate you taking the time to write and express your feelings. While I understand your concern, the word “shiksa” has been used in my family for years with nothing but the most positive, well humored intentions. In fact, before I converted, as I cooked Passover for close to 50 people each year, I was actually called “The Shiksa in the Kitchen” with a tone of respect– the fact that I had taken the time to learn and study the traditions and foods of the Jewish people, while not having been born into the religion, was a source of pride for my family (and believe it or not, a few of them are fluent in Yiddish!). I embraced the nickname for the blog, even knowing that I was about to convert to Judaism, with the full intention of turning what some might feel is a negative word into a positive one. For me, it is an acknowledgment of where I come from– my roots– and an invitation for others, whether or not they were born Jewish, to join me on my journey. That said, I understand where you are coming from, and I appreciate your feelings. I hope that you will continue to enjoy the blog, understanding that my intentions are nothing but positive.
Love your blog and love your recipes. I’m using your challah recipe for a meat meal and I’m using pareve ingredients. Thanks for becoming a Jew by choice! All the best in 2012!
What a wonderful blog…terrific concept and writing! Recipes, too! So glad I found you.
welcome to the tribe! What makes Jewish cooking so interesting it reflects the culture in which you were raised.
My parents were from Austria and Germany. So the Jewish recipes that I was familiar with have an Eastern European flavor. Twenty years ago I met a gal who would became one of my best friends and who also is a great cook! Her hertiage is Greek . When we compared our ” Jewish ” recipes they were totally different! For instancees.. My charoset consisted of chopped apples, walnuts and wine.Hers is a paste of dried dates and honey! So we both expanded our repitoire of “Jewish ” cooking!